12.01.14
In the absence of The Mothership to do my laundry, I've found a solution: a launderette funnily enough. Up to 16LBS washed and tumble dried for a fiver. And somewhere to stay warm and dry myself, while I wait, read and write.
Apparently I still have doubters: those who don't believe all of this. You couldn't - and I wouldn't (and haven't) make it up. I'm getting help, including from the new friends I've made. As for those who've forsaken me, the sentiment is mutual. I'll see who's there when I emerge on the other side.
This continues to be an adventure in a way (you have to find the best in and make the most of that which you have) but one day it'll be over, with mixed emotions to be honest. Until then, I just keep moving and am toying with the idea of moving back to my beloved London.
I have little left, apart from that which I carry upon my person (which makes moving home easier). All of my possessions are either at Gilbert Arse or being recovered by M. The kids are with my ex-wife and the snake is with my ex-parents: I trust all three to also be in safe custody. Just me to worry about then: that's what I've been told to do and that's what I'm doing.
I've found somewhere new to sit, read and write: Tonbridge Angel Centre. I popped in to see what activities and pursuits might be on offer. Thus far I am slightly drawn toward Taekwon-Do, Jeet Kune Do, music and amateur dramatics. I'm keeping busy, seeking new outlets and recovering.
I've also discovered a local scheme which provides a free moped (and kit and lessons) to enable one back into work, or travelling thereto. Furthermore, I'm looking into CRI's "Small Sparks" scheme, which provides grants to aid people in their recovery and back into work. I'm looking at laptops or notebooks. So I'm spending my time and money on things other than drink. I have a path to recovery.
Among the literature on local groups I'm perusing is one on stage magic: did you know that Houdini was rumoured to use trap doors at one point in his career? It was a stage he was going through.
There are also local groups, including a local history society. Having recently researched Martin Hardie, I may look into that one.
There's also the IPWUK Wrestling Spectacular: this is the International Pro Women's UK Wrestling Spectacular. I'm not going but I'm thinking of my Custard. Also my former fiance, who swings both ways: I'd pay good money to see those two together (Did I just type that?)
And there's a cinema: changing the subject.
I miss both of my fiances (the needle has got stuck again on the record I keep playing). I still wear Custard's ring, although she returned mine; the other one returned hers and it was stolen, like my heart.
So I've been keeping busy and therefore off of the drink. I miss the things I used to do (cooking, housework), as well as what previous partners and I did together. But I'm finding other things to keep me busy.
I got a text from Sophie today: it made me smile, inside. Just wait till you're older.
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