A Life Sentence

23.06.14 (Day 183)

05.42

Six months. A lifetime out here.

Six months to the day since being put out on the road because I was ill. Six months of misunderstanding. Six months of trying to get better. In some ways I have but not ways that are recognised by Them. They, whom I've battled and which has made me more unwell. For six months.

Six months of a living hell which few would endure for far less time. Six months during which many from my old life have chosen to forget me to make their cosy lives easier. Six months of sleep deprivation. I hope that those who abandoned me through ignorance suffer too, sleeping with their consciences. They have none and are not welcome in my life now.

Six months without TV or music. Lots of reading though. Six months of malnutrition, sometimes going for days without food. Six months of fear. Six months which I would wish upon no-one but those who forsake me. But my life is more fulfilled.

Six months of dealing with persecution and ignorance.  Six months of taking it. Dishing it out too, the old-fashioned way.

Six months of self-medication as access to services is limited for the disadvantaged. And having to perform minor surgery because circumstances required. Ever had to sew an open wound shut with a needle and dissolvable fishing line, with no anaesthetic?

Six months of being driven into the ground by the system, trodden on, stamped on, kicked while I'm down but getting back up again to continue the fight.

Six months on this part of a long journey. But six months which have opened my eyes, finding faith and making new, true friends and family.

Six months of love and kindness; bonding and building relationships in minutes that will last a lifetime, however long that may be.

Six months which are documented here in my journals. I may be gone but my writing never will and that's why I did it.

My lifetime has been the last six months. Now onto the next.

Six months of finding a new life, wherever I lay my hat.