23.11.14 (Day 336)
18.42
So bored and frustrated.
Little Blue has died. The Android tablet which was running my life and my fledgling business is no longer. Just as I start to re-build things, the very thing which I was relying on goes and dies on me. It is an ex-computer. I may as well use it as a place mat. I may as well use it as a disposable plate, eat dinner off of it, then throw it in the bin. It is a brick; a lifeless slab. We've tried everything, including a hard reset, factory restore but still nothing.
I can't send or receive emails; I can't watch TV, play movies or games. We had so much going for us but what we had going is gone. The Wife has pretty much gone too. One of my strongest props has another life which I always understood but that other life has taken over now. It was short, it was sweet; we tried. And if my words break through her walls, I hope she'll meet me at the door.
My sister has gone of late too. It's as though everyone has better things to do. Good for them. I wish I just had something to do.
But all I can do is apply a little prescribed therapy and write. I'm trying to find the inspiration to write one of the many short stories I have in my head. But I've lost them. They were on Little Blue.
How about a poem?
I'm tired and I'm lost
Bored and blue
I know what I need
Just you
The black dog is here
I feel so alone
He's gone for a while
Throw him a bone
But he'll be back
Walking to heel
Wanting me dead
The way I feel
Right here
Right now
I want to be better
I don't know how
To stop the pain
Blank the thoughts
Like a binary game
But no ones; just naughts
My heart is heavy
Full of sorrow
Will it get better?
Maybe tomorrow
18.42
So bored and frustrated.
Little Blue has died. The Android tablet which was running my life and my fledgling business is no longer. Just as I start to re-build things, the very thing which I was relying on goes and dies on me. It is an ex-computer. I may as well use it as a place mat. I may as well use it as a disposable plate, eat dinner off of it, then throw it in the bin. It is a brick; a lifeless slab. We've tried everything, including a hard reset, factory restore but still nothing.
I can't send or receive emails; I can't watch TV, play movies or games. We had so much going for us but what we had going is gone. The Wife has pretty much gone too. One of my strongest props has another life which I always understood but that other life has taken over now. It was short, it was sweet; we tried. And if my words break through her walls, I hope she'll meet me at the door.
My sister has gone of late too. It's as though everyone has better things to do. Good for them. I wish I just had something to do.
But all I can do is apply a little prescribed therapy and write. I'm trying to find the inspiration to write one of the many short stories I have in my head. But I've lost them. They were on Little Blue.
How about a poem?
I'm tired and I'm lost
Bored and blue
I know what I need
Just you
The black dog is here
I feel so alone
He's gone for a while
Throw him a bone
But he'll be back
Walking to heel
Wanting me dead
The way I feel
Right here
Right now
I want to be better
I don't know how
To stop the pain
Blank the thoughts
Like a binary game
But no ones; just naughts
My heart is heavy
Full of sorrow
Will it get better?
Maybe tomorrow
sorry to hear that. little blue was your everything. how you gunner get on the internet infuture? xxxxx
ReplyDeleteWhere there's a will there's a way. I'm borrowing an old netbook but everything is fragmented between different devices. Little Blue the phone went a few months ago and Little Blue the tablet died recently. Everything was on both. It's not getting on the internet that's the problem; it's having the devices with all of my stuff (my life) on die on me that's caused the problems. I can still work with what I have but much, much slower than how I worked on faster devices and where I had everything in one place xxx
ReplyDeletethats good then. i know you will.xxx
ReplyDelete