Delirium Tremens

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January 09, 2017

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20.06.14 (Day 180) 08.42 Non: of nine. E.g. Nonagon: a nine-sided shape Nonillion: 9 to the power of 54 Persona non grata: me, to many Thrown out onto the road because I was ill and offered very little help. Intelligent, resourceful and having acquired many skills and much knowledge to stay alive out here, where many wouldn't; some of the many being those who think things should have been sorted out by now but who've never had to go against the system. Nine lives out here, most of which I've lived: Bottled Throttled Molten wax thrown in the face Robbed Raped (really) Beaten Attempted suicide Attempted suicide (Yes: twice) Not much left is there? Overnight stays in hospital beds and police cells: eight so far. Number of times that a ghost from my past has run back to me then left again, breaking my heart on each occasion: eight. But I fought back every time. Always with resolve; occasionally the old-fashioned way (with fists). These lives have hardened me and...

Of Kids

16.06.14 (Day 176) 14.42 A Loveliness is the collective noun for ladybirds. I knew this anyway but it was the subject of a question just now on The Round Britain Quiz on Radio 4 earlier. Collective nouns are most commonly associated with birds; the best-known of which being a gaggle (of geese) and a murder (of crows). With avian species, the nouns differ from those collected on the ground and in flight. Collective nouns also apply to fauna which is ground-dwelling by nature: a pride of lions being the best known example. My favourite and most endearing being giraffes: a tower. Is there a collective noun for kids? An annoyance? A coronary? I'm playing host to a few of the regulars and to avoid the annoyance or coronary, I've retired. To my room, which is out-of bounds to them all but they come in anyway: kids! That's the way it is; that's the way they are. 18.42 I didn't make my latest induction with CRI because our home was at risk and so was I, as I saw my one-time...

For the Mothership

22.01.15 (Day 395) 09.42 Because everyone needs their mum, and dad... You did me right; you brought me up well. It was me who failed you; it was me who fell. I miss family occasions, talking of this and that. Now an empty space at the dining table, where I once sat. Please forgive me for the things I have done. Don't be ashamed when they ask, how's your son? The Mothership stopped reading this blog a while ago, mainly because it contained so much hatred and vitriol. None of that anger was directed at her, although some frustration was vented towards my family in general. If felt wronged and unfairly treated. I'd been placed in a very difficult and dangerous position. I'm sure they thought things would be quickly rectified but the system doesn't work in the ways many think it does. Often the system doesn't work at all and many would have given up completely by now, as I have at times. Most wouldn't survive some of what I've had to go through and if it was...

The Lunatics Have Taken Over

04.03.14 (07.42) I made it through the night, obviously. Himself didn't return but if he had, I was sharing the digs with a couple of the boys: an ex-Royal Marine and a Polish guy who's built like an out-building. The cage fighter and the Paratrooper were otherwise engaged. I'm the brains in our little family, or rather the one who prefers not to fight and spoil these pretty looks. Not that any of my brothers are anything but intelligent (at the very least, they're street-wise and have taught me some ropes and self-defence, some of which involves ropes) but I tend to be the facilitator and that's my contribution to the group. I know I'm safe in that company and we've all got each other's backs. We've made a group decision to clean up the family home, given that it's likely where we'll be for a while as without exception we're all dealing with hurdles, hoops and brick walls in our attempts to move on. We estimate a good day's work if w...

A long time ago...

2017 75

2016 76
- December 6
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2015 91
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2014 294
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2013 23
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1970 1
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